AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
