i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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