I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
