bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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