I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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