Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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