i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
