check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
where are my eyebrows?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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