best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
