Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
farters have to be the big spoon...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
