if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
