Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I haven't been this sober since birth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
