I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
