His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
