Kiss
Puke
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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