matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
