Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
