there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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