And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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