his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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