Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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