she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
