she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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