Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
