i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
