If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So many bounce houses so little time
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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