My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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