My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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