So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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