He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
