Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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