I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
