Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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