my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
