He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
