I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
