im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
