ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
