i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
