I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
