this beer tastes like vomit already
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
