"it" just moved
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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