i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
