these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Randomize
