There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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