I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
