But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
