why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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