farters have to be the big spoon...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize