coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
