I want to have your abortion
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
