i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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