if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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