After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
