you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
