Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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