My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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