I seem to have left my pride at pride
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
