We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
