if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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