I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
