Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
