Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
