I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
