every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've blown a few things in my day
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize