If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize