I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
